This is an awesome edge to walk in my experience. One that I teetered on repeatedly and passionately over the past 5 years. For me, it has been a deep and rich and sometimes anguishing journey focused on preparation, Soul and Soul Mate searching, and the readying of my consciousness to fully receive the gift of motherhood.
SomeONE tell me!
I ask myself the same thing at some point EVERY day when Auraleah is intently looking into me for a response and connection around her immediate need, initiating a spark of awakeness within me in regard to her presence in my life.
In truth she arrived through the intricate alchemy of moments touching moments, thoughts relived and released, intentions set, prayers prayed and answered, and mundane miracles unfolding.
Who knows what caused the spark to ignite?
There is one aspect of the journey personal to me that I can share with you here, now....
Exactly one year ago today I sat on the back porch of my little mountain cabin in Swannanoa, NC and wrote a letter that now sits a few feet away from me on the birth alter here in this very room in our home, where my daughter was born.
It is a letter that I wrote to the Soul of the child that I was desiring to conceive and birth, who I simply referred to as LOVE. This letter was the final piece in my process of completing and presenting my Senior Project on Intentional Conception at the Matrona School of Quantum Midwifery.
My senior project was to create and self apply an Intentional Conception Coaching Program designed to assist women in the process of Intentional Conception, that is...to consciously engage with the energies of creation for the purpose of bringing a child through the veils and birthed into Earthly form. The letter was the 10th step in a Self Application approach to the coaching program.
Back to the beginning...
So one year ago TODAY, on June 22, 2012, I wrote and took that letter to the Matrona. Witnessed by a circle of 23.ish women, I read and invited a mighty and beauty.full Sol to come through me in right and perfect timing. As well, I made a copy of the letter for every woman present in the circle that day and asked them to put it on their alters or some place special and prayerful, and to join me in holding the intention of conception, pregnancy, and motherhood with and for me. To assist me in focusing energy on becoming a mother.
Exactly one month later on Sunday July 22, 2012 my daughter was conceived.
Exactly 41 weeks later on Sunday April 28, 2013 Sandeep and I delivered and received Auraleah Sol, still in her sac of waters, into our arms in this very room where I sit and write these words.
A notable line of the letter that I will share with you here today is this:
"I'm learning the difference, personally, between wanting a child and truly BEing ready for a child. I've wanted a child, you, for SO long. But this peace.full morning I recognize a resonance of total YES within and without. I AM READY, and I welcome you through in right and perfect timing. No hurry, your place is held. You are DEEPLY loved and wanted!
...this is so NOW and SO IT IS. Thank You."
Here I sit, a year later to the date, in the reality of my answered prayers.
As well, we created and experienced our dream birth, giving our daughter a sentient and gentle beginning to her time here on Earth. I give such great thanks for all that allowed this alchemy of love to become real for me, including my own initiative to clearly discover, invite, receive, and give gratitude for the path I want to walk in the world, and the child I wanted to birth.
I share this with you in this Solstice Season and on this SUPER MOON full moon day, in hopes of inspiring you too, to focus on what you really want to birth into the world. ASK! ALLOW! RECEIVE! GIVE THANKS!
The Universe.All Energies of creation are here to Co.Create with YOU.